2016 is the most saturated superhero year till date and with both DC and MARVEL’s two Clash of the Titans blockbusters, both of which have proven to be a success and a disappointment, we have two more to look forward to: DC’s Suicide Squad and MARVEL’s Doctor Strange. Beneath the uprising smoke from this ageing war between the two studios lies FOX’s red flag waving its X-Men title in our face, once again.
Also, WARNING! This is potentially a spoiler review although if you would rather sit and read this review over watching the second X-Men: The Last Stand, stick around, minions.
X-Men: Apocalypse is the third film in the X-Men prequels trilogy and the ninth instalment in the franchise. It continues the story, taking place 10 years later, where peace exists between both mutants and humans, at least on a superficial level. Amidst the silence, an ancient mutant Apocalypse awakes from his unearthly slumber and decides to enforce his reign over the world once again with the help of The Four Horsemen. The X-Men come together to face the godly mutant and prevent him from sending the world back to the stone age.
If you are the kind of Marvel fan to catch a post-credits scene, you know that the previous movie hinted at the rise of ‘En Sabah Nur’ in an era that predates ours. Resulting in an expected opening that shows a less Oscar Issac-y Apocalypse and a more skinny Robert De Niro in ancient Egypt, he is treated like a God and showered with hymns and parades by thousands of people. The character is revealed fully and seconds later is betrayed by his people who bury him, which is visually jarring to watch as it slowly starts to look more like an animated film which possesses one of the most disappointing introductions to an all mighty character in the X-Men universe.
The beauty of these mutant movies lies not within these characters who make us tear up with their dark humor, but within ones who are almost fully relatable. The rich character building techniques of this franchise have allowed audience members to connect and empathize with people who are different, and who are sometimes a clear reflection of ourselves. Sadly, this movie delivers just the opposite.
Their primary focus is on the relationship between Eric Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier. With First Class and Days of Future Past, we witness the birth of a friendship that stands on the four legs of conflict, and how they choose to fight each other on either side of the fence thus becoming what my girlfriend calls, ‘frienemies’. The ‘threequel’ does little to nothing with the two of them, and tosses in a few pathetic and overused phrases from Xavier to convince his friend not to join the dark side, those which we have seen countless times over a span of six films.
Complaints about Apocalypse rising from his grave, seeing the world looking like crap and deciding to white wash its surface very early, making the climax quite irritable and not because we are about to witness another genocide movie which matches down to the likeness of Man of Steel. He is the shiny toy, the blue Apocalyptic man, who comes across more creepy and sexually frustrated with a ‘climax-y’ ring to his voice as he rolls his eyes all over his horsemen with shuddering responses such as ‘I want you’. Cringe-worthy as it may seem, it is uncertain as to how a 3600 BC godly man would behave in today’s world, which gives way to this being the closest it will be to the real thing. If you happen to be the opposite of a comic book fanatic and a movie buff, you will find Oscar Isaac to be so perfect, he is almost undetectable until someone whispers who he is into your ear, which might leave you confused.
Already looking like a moving train wreck, almost every old cast member seems bored, particularly Jennifer Lawrence’s Raven aka Mystique and Nicholas Hoult’s Beast, who find themselves running through the movie for old time’s sake. The lighter side of the movie lies in the fresh blood recruits which includes Scott Summers aka Cyclops, Jean Grey and Night Crawler, who are blooming in their early years. The familiar face of Game of Thrones’ Sansa Stark played by Sophie Turner plays a younger, more likable Jean Grey, with layers to her personality as opposed to an expressionless Famke Janssen, and remains the highlight with respect to the huge turn of events that unfold in the last quarter (too many spoilers if revealed.)
Revisiting the Xavier School for the gifted, the X plane and phrases which include “Goodbye, old friend” which was cleverly used by James McAvoy, who pays homage to Patrick Stewart’s version of Xavier while talking to Eric, are quite recognizable moments that are not forgettable. Mimicking Deadpool’s attempts at cracking jokes about the studio works well along with the rest of the humor offered. Seems like Fox knows about their mess-ups and enjoys occasionally wearing the dunce hat for people to poke fun at. Appealing visual imagery is the front seat driver of the movie, which is depicted from the very start.
The heat behind this movie gains momentum and we forget the positive elements of the movie as the cons outweigh the pros. Singer scraps too much reminiscent dust all over in the hopes for the surfacing of nostalgic feelings towards X-Men, X-Men 2 and Days of Future Past, giving little room for proper story progression. Making things worse, QuickSilver gets his second crack at the enjoyable 5 minutes of slow motion fame yet again. Repetition is a word that follows the movie along with unwanted yet pleasing fillers which include the reveal of Wolverine and his killing spree which was a poorly filmed, horribly choreographed dance, giving it the look of a parody of sorts.
The Four Horsemen 2.0 consists of Angel, Psylocke, Storm and Magneto who look like a bad 80’s rock band that went haywire after smoking the wrong stuff and who happen to like body armor. It is revealed that Apocalypse is behind their dress embroidery, proving to be a terrible fashion designer and tattoo artist as he comes up with face designs that resemble voltage lines from a physics textbook.
Corny lines and cheap CGI that is clearly outsourced, the circle is now complete with ditch holes and bumps. Unlike its predecessors which carry real world, political and social issues that create a sense of realism, it falls short and focuses on the uprising of a Godly creature who means to rule the world, which is familiar to us already. FOX likely knew they had the next Fantastic Four on their hands and threw away the need for marketing, RIP marketing department. Mistakes are widely obvious and unjustified, one being Mystique’s leather suit disappearing abruptly during the climax. Furthermore, John Ottman scores a rather disheartening soundtrack which came as quite a surprise.
Bryan Singer has wrought an apocalypse onto the franchise that he has taken so many years to carefully perfect, destroying everything he and all of us have ever loved and drops the mic only because metaphorical tomatoes are being thrown at him. With his successful attempt at realigning the timeline in Days of Future Past, he adds on, praising The Last Stand indirectly and deems his earlier contributions to the franchise as irrelevant, almost making it seem like we are watching a reboot with the same actors. Noisy, dull and unwanted, it barely thrives and will either crack you up momentarily or have you finding your head hanging down. Surely bearable, it is a disappointment when they have served us the likes of the last two films. It is clear, MARVEL needs to assist or take back their characters yet again, so the world can be a better place once more. 16 years on X-Men have all gone down the drain, what a waste.
